On Becoming A Good Person

You may already be a good person.  As good as you want to be.  I don’t know.

But if you are like me at all, you are still becoming.  That is to say you are always looking for ways to be better.  Ways to be awesome.  And when ways are found, you feel a sense of urgency to implement them.

Better at what, though?  Here are two questions:

1. What does it mean to be good?
2. And to what extent am I acting selfishly by wanting to be seen as good by others.

Fair questions.

Because with “good” (question #1) there’s:

• “being good at something”.  Good at an activity, game, job or task.
• “being good”.  As in “I’m good” (satisfied, OK with things as they are)
• “be good”.  As in not misbehaving.
• “being a good person”.  And when “person” is attached, it more clearly suggests a relationship between you and others.  Or you and the world.

On the selfish point (question #2), I’m sure we all have a desire to be seen in a certain way.  Social pressure is real.  And to some extent our ability to influence others and succeed in social networking is based on a simple need to be well-liked and respected.

And we like to meet with and support good people, right?  So in that way we influence our own activity in the world.

If continually becoming a better person is a noble pursuit.  And the stink of selfishness is not too bad.  Can we all agree that this effort is worth our time?

Yes? OK.

Here are some things you can do today to point yourself in the right direction:

Be a great listener for someone who needs you. Be two big ears and a small mouth.  Make it obvious that you are absorbing every word.  By asking occasional questions to clarify a point.  And finish with a simple statement like: what do you need from me.

Show a true interest in the ideas of others. And see if a connection, idea or capability of yours can help propel their ideas forward.  Smile when they do.  Shine a bright light or critical eye on their ideas base don their need (not yours).

Be patient. When driving, waiting in line or listening to “hold music” over the phone.  It does little good to express frustration.  Or to make a variety of “I’m not patient” noises for other to hear.  Instead, separate your mind from the moment.  And accomplish something else in your mind while waiting.

Have an open mind. Sure, you can close yourself off.  To people. To ideas.  To opportunities.  But by doing so, you make yourself less of a safe harbor.  You will be exposed to fewer ideas.  And

Allow people to make mistakes around you. Penalty-free mistakes.  The ones that allow learning to take place.  In a safe environment.  And enable a person making the mistake to talk you up to others.  “She was great.  She didn’t even get mad!” And in the end, you will both encourage smart risk taking and empower those around you.

Don’t over-promise. This is where we start trying to help for our own self-worth.  By offering to do things that we aren’t really willing or able to do.  Oh, the perils of great conversations!  The ones that take your partner from excited to downhearted.

What’s on your list?

What can you do to enter the realm of goodness?

Photo Credit

Written by: Tim Tyrell-Smith
Tags: becoming a | cognition | creativity | extent | good person | idea | ideas | journeyed | Life | new ideas | ontology | person | philosophy | Psychology | psychotherapy | pursuit | questions | social networking | thought
Categories: Keeping A Positive Attitude In Life